Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Dearest Baby,

One year ago today, the most wonderful gift came into my life. You. Upon my first glance at you, I immediately felt my heart expand, and never could I have fathomed that it could hold so much love; I should have known then that you would continue to blow all expectations I could hold for myself or for you.

Twelve days after you were born, I received the scariest news I had ever heard: you had Down syndrome. I tried to be strong, to keep it together, but I couldn't hold back the flood of tears. I didn't know what all that meant. All I could think of was how you wouldn't be the child I had hoped for. I was so wrong.

Today, twelve months after that diagnosis, I find that I am the most blessed woman on this earth. There are no words to express the incredible love I feel for you or the joy that you bring to my life. You are the most joyful, pleasant baby I have ever laid eyes on. Your sweet spirit exudes from every part of you. Your eyes say it all--how much you love me, how happy you are, how much you want to bring that happiness to others. I cannot wait for the day that you can express that love and joy in words. Long before you were born or before I knew you had Down syndrome I prayed for a few specific things, one being that you would bring love and joy to this world, and the other being that you and your Daddy would be best friends. You are a constant reminder of God's faithfulness to answer prayers. Everyone who knows you is already so full of that love, and God answers my prayers over every day when new people learn that love.

My sweet, sweet baby love. Thank you for being the baby I never knew I needed, for changing your mama's heart and expectations. For bringing me the greatest love I've ever known. For teaching your Daddy and me to dream bigger dreams. Forgive me for thinking any differently, for being scared, for being ignorant. You are my baby of whom I am proud. You are my love. You are my life.

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