Grace and Peace to You

You must first know that I am a competitive and driven person who also happens to be an empathetic, compassionate people-pleaser.  (Confused much?  Yeah, so is my husband).  Being 16 months younger than my older sister, our relationship is naturally competitive, so growing up we drove each other to excel, and excellence became the standard I set for myself. 

Until Bear.  My husband and I had our first born four years ago, and twelve days after his birth we learned he had Down syndrome (you can read the rest of my story here).  Both my husband and I had been athletes and were high achievers in many areas of life, so you can imagine how difficult it was to receive the news that we had been given a child whose involvement and inclusion would be limited in so many things in life.  But slowly, fear and worry gave way to fierce and incredible love as we got to know our Bear, and excellence and achievement were redefined.  

And though we have no trouble accepting Bear exactly as he is, we sometimes forget that outside the safety of home, there’s a harsh world that is often ignorant of his needs and abilities.  And in those moments when someone poses a ridiculous question or makes a rude remark, I’m reminded to extend grace.  Grace defined is “unmerited favor, mercy, clemency, pardon.”   I’ve been wrestling with that word a lot lately.  I make snap judgments, criticize without knowing all the facts, and am often harsh and unfair in my assessment of people or situations.  I’m quicker to handout condemnation than grace and find that I often shut myself off to people or situations rather than extend grace and allow myself to be vulnerable.  But the real reason I’ve been wrestling with this is that I feel that I’m finally beginning to grasp what God’s grace truly means.  Grace is one of the most commonly used words in the New Testament, so obviously it’s a big deal.  

While recently listening to a podcast on Ephesians, I was struck by what the pastor said about Ephesians 1:2.  “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”  I don’t know about you, but I typically find myself skimming over verses like this one to get to the “meat” of the chapter.  But the pastor pointed out that the writer (Paul) was not wishing this as a prayer or a hope for the future.  Rather, he is declaring what IS ours because of what Christ has done.   

Did you catch that?  Grace and peace ARE ours if we are in Christ.  What does that mean?  What does it mean that grace is ours?  What it means is that I alone cannot do a single thing to earn God’s favor.   

And please pause and rest on this next thought: I cannot "be" a good enough person to earn God's grace. 

It does not matter how kind I've been to others, how generous I've been, whether I've spent hours pouring over the Bible and in prayer, and whether I've confessed every sinful thought and action.  Surely God cares about those things but they do not EARN his favor.  That kind of thinking leaves me enslaved to my behavior and performance and abolishes the amazing work that was accomplished by Christ on the Cross.  That kind of thinking focuses on ME and what I can do to draw closer to God, when grace teaches that he’s already done it all.  That kind of thinking is not grace-based; it’s works-based.  If I think I have to add anything, it is no longer grace.    

What is also beautiful about grace being ours is that we are free to extend it to others, too.  I’m free to extend grace to my husband if I feel he’s wronged me, to my children when they’re little heathens, to the hurtful people who don’t love Bear the way I do.

And what does it mean that peace is ours?  Simply put, without the cross, we are at war with God.  But when we come through the Gospel and the grace of Jesus, we are at PEACE.  We no longer have to war within ourselves or with God to try to measure up.  God’s wrath toward us is gone.  See, we are free from this insidious fear that keeps us in its grasp, telling us that our God is a just God, a wrathful God, an angry God and that we have to constantly work to earn his favor.  Just as my children often mess up, NOTHING can stand in the way of my love for them.  YES, our Father is just.  Yes, he is storing up wrath.  And yes, he has a righteous anger toward sin.  But it is a beautiful thing to be in Christ, an heir to the kingdom, received in love by the Father. 

That’s grace.  That’s peace.    

                                            

And all we have to do is claim what’s ours.  

Do you struggle accepting God’s grace?  Why?  What specifically keeps you from claiming the grace and peace that are yours?

Disclaimer:  I am in no way a theologian.  I have no formal training in doctrine, theology, Greek, seminary, or anything of the sort.  I'm just a normal girl who's responding to what God's word is doing in my heart as it renews and refines me.  If you would like to learn more, the podcast I referred to is Greg Pinkner at Crossroad Fellowship Church in Knoxville, TN.  You can access his podcasts here or via iTunes.

Basking in Easter

I have to confess that being a mom of young children, I rarely get to pause and bask in the meaning of holidays.  I'm often busy packing to head to family gatherings and don't allow for margin or white space where I can reflect, especially during holy holidays like Christmas and Easter.  This year was different.  For the first time since having children, we were able to attend our local church service before rushing off to a family gathering.  And I was able to sit.  And listen.  And bask in the presence of God.

I'll confess that my heart was already tender this Easter season.  Maybe it's because I have a daughter who has the most beautiful, sensitive heart, and that we had been talking about the cross and resurrection all week.  Maybe it's because as I read my children the story of the resurrection from their children's Bible and relayed the Good News that Jesus is alive, Lila's eyes filled with wonder and excitement.   Or maybe the Spirit had been working on my heart through those things to prepare me for Sunday.  Our pastor shared a beautiful message on salvation, much more than just a sinner's prayer and altar call.  Reading from 1 Peter 1:3-5, he spoke in depth about God's reason for salvation. 

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, ⁵ who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

At one point during the message, he alluded to a scene from The Passion of the Christ.  Jesus is bearing the cross, and Mary wants nothing more than to be near her son, but the main street is jam packed with people, so she asks James to help her as they rush along the side streets, catching up to a place that she'll be able to be near him.  But when the moment comes, she's paralyzed by her fear and grief and can't bear to come closer, until finally she sees her beautiful son's body, broken, bruised, bleeding as he bears the cross for us and stumbles in so doing.  Immediately, she flashes back to a scene from his childhood where he had fallen and she had run to him to soothe him as she does in this scene and simply says, "I'm here, I'm here," to which our Christ replies, "See, mother, I make all things new."

Listening to the description of this scene, my mother's heart was suddenly shattered.  Why had this never sunk in before?  The amazing sacrifice that was asked of Mary--to not only carry, birth, love, and raise the son of God, but to give him up in the ultimate sacrifice?  But think then of our Father's heart and the sacrifice he made.  He was willing to give up his PERFECT son in exchange for fallen sinners and believe that he was somehow trading up by gaining us!  This absolutely blows my mind.  I can't fathom giving up my imperfect son for the bratty kid at the grocery store let alone giving up a sinless one for an entire fallen world.  So I sat in church and cried and worshiped in gratitude that our Father's love is so deep for us.  For once, Easter didn't mean rushing through the house to make sure I had enough diapers, everyone's change of clothes, and checking to make sure everyone's outfits were perfect upon arrival at a grandparents'.  Finally, I basked in the meaning of Easter.

How great is the Father's love.  All I can do is worship.

Parenting Quick Tip: Packing the Diaper Bag

Have several young kids sharing one diaper bag and heading to the nursery or daycare?  Put each kiddo's change of clothes and diapers in a Ziploc bag with his/her name and your cell number on it.  No need to label each piece of clothing. 

He Thinks My Kisses are Magical

In the last several months, Bear has begun doing the most endearing yet heartbreaking thing ever.  When he's hurt or heartbroken, his pouty face could turn the coldest heart to a puddle of mush.  He turns his bottom lip down and feigns the back of his hand against his eyebrow (definitely need to snap a pic of this face).  But what's even sadder is that if one of his meany sisters has hurt him, he cries silently.  He huffs and puffs for minutes, trying to convince himself that he doesn't need to cry, but the look on his face nearly moves me to tears before he ever cries out in pain.

"Look," has become his catch phrase.  "Look," as he shows me the red mark on his forehead where he just ran into the wall.  "Look," as he displays the finger that was just pinched.  "Look," at the invisible ouchy that's causing so much pain.  And who knew that, "Look," could be so beautiful.

Because in it he says, "Look, momma, only you can fix this.  I need you.  I want you.  Please make me feel better."

And as much as it hurts me to see my child hurt, there is beauty in it.

You see, he BELIEVES my kisses are magical. 

So I kiss him.  And he does (feel better).  

I know that Lila wants to believe my kisses are magical, but she also knows that the pain still lingers after the kiss, and often her tears do, too.  That doesn't mean she doesn't ask for kisses, and I sure don't mind giving them.  But with Bear, my kisses are truly magical and instantly stop tears and pain, and I pray they always will be and always do.

Domestic Goddess Quick Tip: Laundry

Do one load of laundry per day rather than waiting for "laundry day" to tackle it all.  Get in the habit of putting a load of wash in as soon as the kids are in bed.  Switch it to the dryer when you head to bed, and fold it and put it away first thing in the morning.  Laundry becomes much more manageable when handled this way, preventing mountains of dirty clothes from piling up.

Meal Planning: Shopping from Your Pantry

If you're like me and until now haven't been very conscientious about meal planning and grocery shopping, you probably find you have a lot of canned or boxed food in your pantry that needs to be used.  Though I planned a March Meal Plan, I decided to replace next week's meals with recipes that utilize as many of my on-hand ingredients as possible.  I started by pulling everything out of the pantry: pasta, rice, boxed goods/mixes, canned goods, and then pairing items I thought would be found in recipes together.  With the help of All Recipes Ingredient search tool, I was able to plan FOUR of my dinners for next week, use all of these items, and only shop for three additional ingredients I was missing! (Note: we have a small deep freeze in the basement where I keep meat on hand, so I didn't have to purchase any meat for these recipes!)

So replacing the meals I have on my menu for next week, here's what I came up with:

Hearty Hamburger Stew
Ingredients on hand: hamburger, onions, barley, diced tomatoes, beef broth, carrots, spices
Need to purchase: celery, tomato soup

Pork Chop and Rice Casserole
Everything on Hand but the pork chops

Pizza Pasta Bake
Everything on hand

Tuna Noodle Casserole
Everything on hand

If you haven't shopped from your pantry prior to meal planning, I highly recommend it.  You'll be amazed at what you already have on hand, and you'll be discouraged from getting take out.  My husband's thrilled at how this will save on our grocery budget this week, and I'm thrilled that my shopping will take half as long.  

Have you shopped from your pantry before?  Take a peek..what meals were you able to come up with?

Parenting Quick Tip: Waste Less Food

Tired of throwing away uneaten food from your kiddo's meals?  Start with small portions.  You can always scoop up seconds, but once served, you often throw out uneaten food.  By starting with smaller portions, you'll save on your grocery budget and may find that you have more leftovers to serve up for future meals.  And if you have a child who tends to overeat, smaller portions can help discourage that as well.